Women, in general, have very little patience for men's emotions that don't suit their needs. Our emotions aren't really concerned over, except insofar as they affect women. Literally nobody cares if we're sad, depressed, feeling hopeless, defeated, anxious, confused, uncertain, unsure of ourselves, and so forth unless it affects them, in which case it's usually a problem for them. Nobody wants to hear it. Typically it just upsets them because we are less valuable as emotional outlets for their own feelings, less firm rocks in a turbulent sea, or whatever other purposes our emotions may be recruited for. Men's emotions are not for us, as they are constantly being hijacked for someone else's needs. Sometimes these are broad social goals, but mostly these are the needs of a domestic partner. To ensure men remain useful emotional receptacles, we are punished our entire lives for demonstrating emotion beyond a narrow band of acceptability, typically situational: e.g., we're supposed to be courageous when that is what is required of us, angry when that is what is required of us, loving when that is what is required, and so forth. Anything else is routinely, often brutally shamed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/etcv3xa/

#psychology

The reality is our brain is vast and full of a myriad of random thoughts and impulses, some dark, but our executive function is the switchboard that chooses what we think and what we disregard. That is the reflection of who we are.

We have this fallacy wherein we think the deepest thoughts are the most real; that people who have private thoughts but do not act on them are hiding' their true self; but nothing is less true. It is who we choose to be and what we choose not to be and not to give weight to that is the best reflection of our self.

https://np.reddit.com/r/science/comments/bqagww/mindfulness_which_revolves_around_focusing_on_the/eo2t7qh/

#mindfulness #psychology

When in doubt double your prices.

My parents had been running their own tailor shop in the 80's, barely making ends meet, pulling in less than $20K a year.

It wasn't for lack of business, father was a master tailor trained in Italy and capable of elite bespoke craftsmanship. They had as much business as they could handle. The problem was that they were charging what they thought the work was worth rather than what their customers were willing to pay.

At some point, during the Reagan years, my mother had an epiphany and jacked up the prices massively, far beyond what my father thought was remotely reasonable. The result? Even more business, more pressure, more return customers. That put me and my brother through an expensive college.

There's something about high rates that makes customers feel more important, it's a status-thing and it also propels them to take you more seriously even if they have you do low-value stuff.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19921386

#psychology

Never underestimate your ability to get used to something and take it for granted.

It's astounding how much humans adapt to their circumstances.

Basically, everyone has a baseline that we'll call normal and that's how happy/sad/angry/frustrated you feel on average.

This baseline will look different for every person and is based on their life up to that point but the important thing is that everyone feels roughly the same at their baseline.

When something worse than your baseline happens you'll feel bad and when something better than your baseline happens you'll feel good.

Your baseline might be playing video games, browsing the internet, having nice food and a good home. Your good day then might be a night out with friends in town. On the same scale your good day seems so very privileged compared to a family dinner at McDonald's but the both of you felt equally good at the time.

It's important to remember we all live our own lives and we can't hold ourselves to the same standards as others for that reason. That's why we also shouldn't hold it against those who have more than us when they have a bad day just because you have it worse. For that person their bad day feels just as bad as your bad day does to you.

We should acknowledge the privileges we have and be thankful but also we can't beat ourselves up over it.

https://np.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/bgsoqy/little_things_in_life/elnp2he/?context=3

#psychology

It's us. Humans. We are the weak link in the chain. Ultimately, there is nobody to blame. We are just born broken.

Human cognition is riddled with exploitable defects. Biologically we are basically just highly pretentious and neurotic monkeys. All of human history is full of people looking for someone to blame for their condition (gods, devils, spirits, corporations, etc) but it never changes. Keep in mind, from an evolutionary perspective we are exactly the same people who were burning witches at the stake and throwing people in lakes to determine their criminal culpability a few hundred years ago. We just have a different set of superstitions and delusions now.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19679860

#psychology